Everyone is looking up toward us, but I am looking back.

I an not happy. I am not unhappy. I am frozen somewhere in the middle that is so much worse. I am NOWHERE. Nothing is happening and I am getting more and more sad.

I cry and wonder how I’m going to fall asleep because sleeping means waking and going through all this again.

All bad nights come to an end.

It feels like I have a raging fever, like my insides are melting. This must be what it feels like the moment before you die.

When I try to save other people am I trying to save myself? Am I covering up for my lack of strength by putting people back together?

I feel racing and suspension all at once.

I am the cure and the disease.

I want things so bad that I force them, push them until they tear.

I crave broken men. When I try to save other people am I trying to save myself? Am I covering up for my lack of strength by putting people back together? I am tired. I want someone to save me – build an intricate web and place it beneath me in case I fall.